Thursday, December 13, 2012

Why Worrying is Wasteful

Many people tend to make a habit of worrying.  Some "Nervous Nellies" seldom realize how deep in the worry cycle they are.  Although I occasionally find myself worrying about the outcome of situations, I try to nip it in the bud fairly quickly.  I recognize the anxious feeling and the tightness in my chest and cloudy thinking process.  It doesn't feel good to me.  My solution is simple:  I take a series of deep, belly breaths and I visit my mind to take a look around my thoughts.  I'm a very visual person so I imagine myself as a visitor in my own mind to explore what is causing me concern. 

This technique works because I'm redirecting my thoughts inward to finding a solution instead of constantly feeding my worries.  The mere action of disconnecting from my disorganized thought process provides immediate relief because I'm able to slow down and think about what's going on versus being caught up in the problem.

Organizing our thought process is very similar to organizing our home.  If you live among clutter and disorganization, it's difficult progressing with personal goals.  Although progress is possible, the lag can hinder us from constant progress.  This is why it's important that we learn to control our thoughts.  Doing so allows us to feel more in control of our lives.  It's the perception of progress that enable us to move forward.  We feel more confident of our next step because we decided to move past the problem. 

If you find yourself worrying about things, be honest with yourself and find out what is causing the anxiety.  Are you worrying about something that you can't control?  Are you missing answers needed to move forward with something?  If you seek answers, then go find them!  If the answers aren't available, then decide to place that on the back burner until a later time.  Keep a calendar, start a journal, meditate, give yourself permission to decompress.  Each day is a new opportunity to start fresh.  Upgrade from yesterday's shortcomings and decide to make better choices for tomorrow.  After all, right now is really the only moment that matters because what you do right now determines what will happen tomorrow.  So stop wasting time and energy worrying about things and instead decide on a plan that will attract future success. More Self Improvement Tips

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

How I was robbed by the Leon County, FL Courthouse

So, as I mentioned on another post, I discovered that the Leon County, FL courthouse was "mishandling" my child support payments.  I called them out on the mistake earlier this year, but they (the departmental manager) refused to take responsibility for it and sort of brushed me off by referring to the state statutes that allow the fees to be assessed. 

I tried very hard to explain that it really was an error on their part, but he refused to listen to me.  So after attempting to obtain answers from him several times, I decided to go over Mr. Know It All's head and contacted the courthouse's Internal Auditing department.  The auditor was much more willing to listen to my problem than Mr. Know It All and ultimately determined that the courthouse really was taking out way more than they were supposed to.  Consequently, they thanked me for bringing the matter to their attention and are refunding all the money they inadvertantly took from my case.

The moral of the story is as follows:

1) Never take the first answer as a final answer to anything you are researching.  Seek multiple opinions and search through several sources. The answer will more than likely be where most of your research leads you.

2) Never allow someone who "appears" to know something intimidate you with fancy words and legal terminology.  Analyze their position and question all the answers they give.  If they appear to become frustrated either they feel threathened by you, or lack the patience to help you.  Don't let that bother you.  Instead, politely ask to speak to their supervisor (it helps to research the departmental work chart so you can ask for the supervisor by name).  

3) Don't be afraid to go over someone's head when needed.  You deserve correct answers.  Afterall, most places you call are actually working for you.  Think about it.

Hope this helps someone who may be facing a similar challenge.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Improve quality of life by minimizing waste and increasing value

The goal is to simplify life by minimizing waste and letting go of things that don't add value. If you analyze your daily transactions and behaviors, you can quickly see the usual pattern of your life. It becomes a cyclical form of cause and effect. We all have our highs and lows. Understanding our interactions and how they relate to the world around us will help us gain better perspective of how to best handle challenges and opportunities as they present themselves. But before we get there, we must create a plan. Sort of like a procedures manual that will help us along this part of our personal journey. In essence, we are triggering ourselves to design the best outcome for our personal situation. After all, isn't life our most precious resource? Then shouldn't we put some thought into how we want to use it? If you were given a million dollars right now would you blow through it in a week or spend it wisely? Well, think of this...your life is much more valuable than money. Two things you can never replace are time and energy. Once they are used, they're gone...forever. So spend your time and energy (life) wisely. Because once it's gone, it's gone!

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Let's be clear when we communicate

Back in May, I attended a business conference in Orlando, FL. Although I didn't enjoy the conference very much, I was able to make connections with other business oriented women.  What intrigued me the most, was a conversation I engaged in with a fellow conference attendee. You see, I've always been great at breaking things down and analyzing the minute details of situations and as I get older and meet more people I realize that I possess a genuine gift.  When I find myself in a position to enlighten a stranger, I cherish those moments as a child cherishes his favorite toy.

So there we were, on the second day of the conference, two other attendees and I met for a complimentary buffet-style breakfast at the hotel's restaurant. The ambiance was quietly relaxed and welcoming; conducive to casual conversation. We started out by introducing ourselves and explaining what our goals are and where we see our businesses headed in the near future. One of the ladies owned a matchmaker service and the other one was a lifestyle coach. I mentioned my jewelry business and my writing, of course. We encouraged each other and offered advice as we saw fit and just as we were about to conclude our breakfast the server asked if we required anything else. One of the women briefly looked over at the fruit bar and then returned her sight to the server as she replied,"I sure would like to have some fruit later today." After the server analyzed her response, he realized that what she was really saying was,"Do you mind getting me a box, so I can take some fruit with me?" So he confirmed his calculation by asking,"Would you like a box, ma'am?"
"That would be great!" she exclaimed, as if he had just won a contest.

I gazed at the interaction with intense curiosity as a delicious smile formed on my face. My table partners noticed my reaction and reciprocated my smile with their own curiosity. I finally opened my mouth to speak.
"May I ask a question?" I asked permission before I risked embarrassing her.
"Of course," she said.
"Why didn't you just ask for a box?" I asked.
"What do you mean?" she replied.
"You could've just asked him for a box instead of insinuating your desire to eat fruit later. He asked a simple question and you gave him a math problem to solve!" I chuckled a bit as I said it.
"Wow! I didn't realize that! I don't know why I did that. I've probably been doing that for years! Thanks!" she exclaimed in utter amazement.
I chuckled. They were astonished.
"Mission accomplished," I told myself as I smiled. It was a great day.